ALL IN ALL, A GOOD-GOOD LIFE

Dear blog

I have got something to share. It's about the things around. About the things I like to think just before I close my eyes. Things I don't say quite often! Things I need to remind myself when I am a little low. Things I felt worth sharing here :)

Here, it goes:

Instead of painting them with light pink, and hoping that the teachers would not notice 'that' tinge on my nails; I paint them green and sometimes even blue now, just to make sure that 'people' do notice them! Instead of putting some 'decent' hair clips here and there and assuming that they would be excused for some unknown but valid reasons, I go wild with my hair now. And perhaps with those clips too! Things have become so colourful. And life definitely promises to be!

Those delicate eyes lined with 'some' kohl has become an old story already. Its probably about unconventional shades and somehow darker eyes now. And it's more about keeping pace. And who knows if it is just about 'that' pace. But then, it's just another 'may-be' adorning our college lives! And the funny part is that this new life and its newer story has no space for the old ones. It doesn't allow enough time to feel nostalgia!

Instead of buying every book of the syllabi, I simply get them issued from the library now. And the important part is that the money saved can be 'utilised' to pay those heavy cell-phone bills! And if, by any chance, some money still adorns my pocket, then it's a 'happy-Maggie' time! Though it's a different tale that happy times can never last long!

Every morning, with ear phones tucked in ears, flaunting proudly the bracelet I bought just yesterday, I stand in the crowd of thousands, waiting for the next metro, hoping endlessly that I'll make it in time for the lecture. And the interesting part is that every person in the crowd has a similar story to share!

The good thing about school-life is that the college life is yet to come. And the bad thing about college-life is that I am over with my school life. But the best thing is that I'm making memories for a lifetime in the meanwhile!

Every once in a while, some familiar but faint breeze does embrace me, and remind me of the life I had; some song brings back the glory of the old ones; some old friends do call up (usually only then, when they have substantial talk-time!) just to make sure that we are still under the same sky! Pondering over this and lots more, I enter my class just in time, feeling an obvious hope that, all in all, it's a good-good life! After all, it has a bit of everything! :)

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

The Absurdity Of Today's Tomorrow!

Dear blog

I know I am landing here after a really long spell... It's been a while, may be more than just a while since I last made my presence felt in this virtual world of mine... But, honestly, I would want to admit that I was busy... I was busy doing absolutely 'nothing'... and surprisingly I don't regret that! I had always been busy working constructively... and arguably for the first time ever, I enjoyed being more of a useless! It was a pleasant change... I did have moments when the urge to share through my tit-bits appeared necessary (though not sufficient!) to feel alive, but then I just let it be! To be more elaborative, I would say I found it difficult to put some 'newer' and 'unknown' feelings in words... I could not find the right words for the right 'things' at the right time... and I wonder if they can ever be... But after all said and done, I feel I will only keep completing myself if I keep living through my words... So, here it goes... about an old breeze... which is missing on the new roads promising newer breezes... and about choices I could never make...!

The Absurdity Of Today's Tomorrow!

Plugging in deafening music,
I slept, singing along as if I've moved on!
Waking up uncomfortably on a dizzy morning,
With ear-phones under me, still singing on!

Though I loved loving life then,
I'm shouting now that I'm missing it no more!
Putting on dresses, wearing on masks,
I'm still wondering who am I living for!

Talking to someone through the mirror,
I tried figuring out if things did fumble up!
Impossible dreams were what I kept chasing,
Not believing the possibility of impossibilities!

Tik-tok, tik-tok and yet another tik-tok
Reminded me that life minus me is moving on!
But letting it go just wasn't an option,
So, I started dreaming incredibly more!

Winning things might be good,
But losing a single someone is bad indeed!
Battlefield was where I found myself in,
And perhaps losing there is just a moment away...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

Life's Worth It!

Dear blog

Life has finally become cheerful. A new breeze made it all the more refreshing and fragrant for me...! I feel like smiling these days..thinking of all those lovely things which happened and all the lovely things which will hopefully happen...! I don't know what exactly is it about life that has turned me on.. but whatever it is, I am immensely grateful and indebted to it... So, here goes another poem of mine... about things I like to think about during the nightfall... about things I cherish the most... about things which are more than just things for me, from now on...
  
                                                    

So many phone calls to be answered;
So many visitors to be honoured;
So many meetings to be attended;
But sometimes...
It's just about calling  up for no reason
And listening the voice you love...
And life becomes worth it...!

So many books to be read;
So many assignments to be written;
So many newspaper clippings to be clipped and filed;
But sometimes...
It's just about sitting back
And reading the 'letter' that you love...
And life becomes worth it...!

So many dress trials to be accomplished;
So many old dresses to be discarded;
So many shopping deadlines to be met;
But sometimes...
It's just about letting your hair down
And lying down in the ugliest shorts you love...!
And life becomes worth it....! 

So many pending gifts to be wrapped and sent;
So many 'Thank-you' notes to be delivered;
So many good wishes to be exchanged;
But sometimes...
It's just about bothering to share
And licking a melt chocolate that you love...!
And life becomes worth it...!

So many challenges to be accepted;
So many fears to be understood;
So many lessons yet to be learned; 
But sometimes...
It's about crossing the worlds
Just to see the smile you love...!
And life becomes worth it...! 

In fact, it's just ALL about 
What you love and live for...

And it's more than just 'sometimes'... 
As life is worth it....!

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on... 

A PHASE OF LIFE

Dear blog

Living in the times what someone very special to me call a PHASE of life, which will hopefully end very soon, I am trying to figure out what have I became by now...! Things have changed beyond recognition. I fail to understand what is 'good' for me and what isn't. I may play the blame game, but that REALLY sounds immature and wrong. It's my life and I must learn to respect whatever it can offer me. At this note, I share my next poem about the abstractness of my existence which I think is STILL incomplete... but I have no intentions to complete it either...!

A not-so-known breeze

Kisses My soul;

Unheard footsteps

Sound louder each moment...

An apparently newer journey

On these old roads;

Blending a newer life

In this old soul...

New faces, new lives

Jingling with that of mine;

There are smiles, there are frowns

And then there are no smiles, only frowns...

It might be right to cry

But it's definitely wrong to smile;

Doesn't matter if rejected or selected

As there is always someone to judge you there...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

It's A Boy-Girl Thing !

Dear blog

Recently, I witnessed certain unexplained actions and reactions. I am yet to figure out if they can be justified or not, but these implications of life certainly drove me crazy! I really feel for all those who went through these circumstances. Also, I admit that I tried to be diplomatic with the words while I 'define' these 'terms' for them! Very fortunately, there have been no casualties as of yet! So, here goes the tale:

He prompts a 'Hi' first

As he's quite frank and knows socializing;

She returns a 'Hello'

Coz she's trying to spell a dirty charm;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He dares to lie, one fine day

As it's a part of his growing up;

She tries to make the truth acceptable

Coz she is losing her 'values';

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He sports a messy beard

And suddenly, he's mysteriously smart;

She messed herself up with unknown responsibilities

And there she becomes freakishly incompetent;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He gets a trendy, new mobile

As he's responsible enough;

She inherits an old, boring one

So that 'they' can keep a check;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He gets late by big-four hours

Understandingly, he must've been busy;

She leaves the doorstep with a deadline

As it's the need of the hour;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He ridicules these facts

Coz he never saw it and will never do;

She crams the rules of the game well

As 'they' suggested it's the best thing for her;

After all, he's a boy and she's NOT!

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

To My Darling, With Love!

Dear blog

I am having a bad time, bad nights and even worse days! Life has lost its charm for me... and it might never regain it! Amidst all my pain, I had started causing pain too... I felt like hurting others for life is hurting me... I was always afraid of the day when I would be a 'lesser me'... and I hate to admit that I AM A 'LESSER ME' these days. But there's still one darling of mine who smiled at me beautifully and for some reason, I forgot my misery... for a short moment, I wanted to live life again... The following poem is nothing but the essence of being with that angel :

When I hated trying

And eventually, not trying;

When I wanted to envy

Every ray of your light;

I heard you whistling around

Sounding incredibly stupid but adorable;

And then You cuddled me like a spring breeze

All I mustered was a scattered smile...

When I wanted to be disgraceful

And really acted like one;

When I painted my nails black

And smiled wickedly at life;

I saw you jumping besides

Showing how happy you were to be happy;

And then you offered me a share of your cake

All I managed was a plain "Yummy, Wow!"...

I was ashamed to be incomplete,

You smiled gratefully at others completing you!

I was desperate to be a bad girl,

You celebrated being a girl all through!

I preferred the dark hours of the dusk,

You arranged for disco lights to brighten it up!

I cried more when You saw my tears,

You threw a party as you shared the secret!

I told you that I have a hard life,

Knowing that it would have been harder without you!

You showed me how easy things were,

And with a smile, how easier things could be...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

My Best Friend

Dear blog

I have realized that I have a best friend too whom I love and who loves me back. A Best friend who knows me completely and with whom I share a crazy telepathy. The one who listens to me when I am silent in spite of the fact that I desperately want to be heard. The one who shares and cares, who laughs and cries... The one who is simply my best friend... The one for whose sight, I peep into the class room and prompt a brisk smile... The one who has started loving the pink color too just because I fancy it... The one who deserves to read my following words first... I proudly dedicate the following poem to my best friend of life, with whom I love to share my life :

My Best Friend

After all those mornings
When I didn't have a best friend,
I finally wake up in the morning
With the thought of a best friend, whom I possess ...
I had always shooed away the concept
That there are good friends,
Then there are very good friends,
And that there is a best friend too ...
But when buying a chocolate
And munching on it all alone seemed senseless;
When having a bad day
And being upset about it all alone seemed pointless;
When having butterflies in the stomach before exam
And going through the exams of life all alone seemed impossible;
When there's always that one person
Without talking to whom I can't go to bed;
I joyfully announce to this world
That I have got a best friend too ...
When I say that I don't want to talk
And mean that I need the warmest hug in the world;
The mere presence of my best friend
Warms me and my world inside out ...
When I say that I am absolutely fine
And mean that I want to run away from my life;
The horribly stupid jokes of my best friend
Makes me not just smile but laugh out loud too ...
After all those nights
When I didn't have a best friend,
I finally close my eyes in the night
Smiling at the thought of my best friend ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

No Goodbyes For Now !

Dear blog

A lot has happened during the days I was silent. I saw almost everything life could offer at such times. In between such turbulence, there's one thing that still remains just mine. I can still say that I own it completely. And that thing is my words! They haven't lost themselves in between these moments I lost everything else. I want to say that I have no regrets, and hence I am living it up. Following is what remains with me to share :

No Goodbyes For Now !

I'm searching shelves, I'm searching drawers;

I'm searching all the night;

Since I owe them all a final word;

So, I'm searching this world for some goodbyes ...

The dark nights and the darker life;

The teary eyes and the foggy life;

A heavy heart becoming a heavier heart;

All preventing me from finding those goodbyes ...

I clipped them all, I packed them safe;

I saved them through the times;

I always knew I would need them some day;

But surprisingly, I've run out of my goodbyes ...

I wish I could make them believe

That this isn't that final day, perhaps;

Since I've no goodbyes to offer them any;

So, how can they say bye bye ???

Sobbing under my pillow all the night;

I thought of something better to offer them, somehow;

So, I'm gonna say - "Thank You All";

And I'm just gonna walk away, for now ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

The Secracy!

Dear blog

Thanks for everything. Though I could never confide in this place, my almost 'secret' world, but I love every bit of it. I was unknowingly reflecting about things and my pen set out on a journey yet again! With due respect to the blessings of my life, I share the following with you :

ज़िन्दगी की लिखावट के बीच
मेरी दास्ताँ भी सिमटती है;
अपने-से लगते इन पन्नो में
कुछ नमी-सी है,
मेरी कहानी के शब्दों में
कुछ कमी-सी है।

रात के अंधियारे के संग
अनकही बातों की गूँज भी ढलती है;
उन बातों में, मेरे ख्वाबों में
कुछ नमी-सी है,
तारों से मिलने की ख्वाहिशों में
कुछ कमी-सी है।

इन पलकों के पार
हजारों एहसास बसते हैं;
उन एहसासों में, मेरे इशारों में
कुछ नमी-सी है,
सपने से भरी आँखों में भी
कुछ कमी-सी है।

सब कुछ थोड़ा-सा धुन्दला तो है,
जिंदगी का रंग-रूप कुछ बदला तो है,
आँखों की नमी से
ज़िन्दगी की कमी तो नम हो जाएगी,
पर उस कमी का क्या
जो उस नमी का ही सारांश है ?

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

STANDING ALONE !

Dear blog

This time I am sad. And my very own people are making me sad. For reasons dirtier than ever, 'they' have turned against me. During such testing times, when I really needed them to be just besides me, I am seeing them standing in the opposite team! I wish I could think of anything else, I wish I could just count on the blessings I have, I wish I did not get hurt, I wish nothing really happened between us ...

Anyway, the following words are nothing but my emotional outburst. I hope I stand high in these high tides ...

STANDING ALONE

Though the colors are a bit dirty now,
Life's still courageously colorful.
Friends of friends have become tricky,
I'm doubtful if 'they' ever, were friends or can ever be ???

Cruelly, 'they' inflicted the pain,
And I'm searching reasons to continue to be kind
Still confused if I'm sad about the pain
Or because healers are fewer now, at this end ...

In the childish pursuit of being good,
I misspelled impossible as I'M POSSIBLE !
Though I find the new spelling better,
But I'm accused of going wrong with those letters ...

I wish 'they' never showed that they hate,
I wish 'they' had just put it in words.
But I'll try to neither show nor tell
That I've simply stopped loving 'them' all ...

I may never rage a war against 'them',
Even if my side has been wronged upon.
I may never wish 'them' bad in life
But I've certainly stopped wishing 'them' good either ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...