Love, life and kinda love-life.

Dear blog

For as long as I keep pretending that I have moved on, I have everyone believe me. And when I see myself from the eyes people see me with, I find myself really onto another path. Perhaps in just another life time! And it almost soothes me to the core that I can continue to put my brave expressions on. And there's not just one cherry on this cake walk-types life of mine. One, I can spill the beans whenever I want to and spill them in front of anyone I like! Two, I'll have them sympathize with me so lovingly. 'Coz they know that it's love I'm in love with! However, here comes the not so cake walk-types part. I haven't really liked cherries! I wish someone could come and tell me that everything is indeed fair in love and war. And cajole me that whatever it is, it can be really called either love or war or something acceptably closer to the two. And that I can be wild and bad and wrong while I go on a war to win my love!

And why am I virtually spilling the beans NOW?! Out of thin air? Just like that? Honestly, its coz I struck a conversation with someone I never thought I would connect to. Not for something as personal and as unapparent as that! While I was living up to the expectations I thought I have dropped long back, I had forgotten to keep one part of mine alive. The part which can love. Like a lover. And undoubtedly, that part wasn't as dead as I had assumed it to be. It was simply having a nice little nap until someone comes to wake it up. Wakes ME up to live completely. With all my parts REALLY wide awake.

This time, I wasn't going to be judged while I shared my story. And since I wasn't talking to those with whom I have already talked before, so naturally I was in a position to expect something different from the one who was listening. And it was really different. While I was supposedly calming that someone down (not that he was in a hyper state in real terms!), somehow, we started sharing the pain. I wasn't just listening to the person sitting across, I was speaking too. Speaking about the life I claimed I have moved on from. And it was a natural reaction to feel better. To know that there really was someone else too who was bearing it all. Since the beginning.

It all sounds creepy. This mysterious past I am referring to. But for one more time, I feel like putting it on record, that it is the very same thing it's appearing to be. To put it in broader and safer words, I can put it all under the title of - Love, life and kinda love-life! The status of 'singly committed' and the phase of 'committed-ly single'! It all makes no sense. Not to anyone who hasn't celebrated the pain and the glory of being one of those lovers who never come to light. Though their hopeful candles of a happy ending never extinguish even while they themselves remain in the dark. And the thing is that it isn't really what we call a complicated love life.

When I come to think of it, all I need to do is walk down and confess. Yes! It's that simple. However, that's not what the hero's and heroines of blockbuster movies do. For instance, the one in Titanic died loving. And only then, the love-story became such an unbelievably believable epic. Of course, I am not saying that I am a heroine by any chance. Or that I am dying loving right now. All I am saying is that, this is surely a tale. Larger than life. Waiting to be told. Though getting better with each passing moment. Just like our grape-wine! Even if it never gets the privilege of an audience, it'll always be flushing in all its glory. It'll keep tasting better (if anyone ever cares to taste it!). It may not be the best love-story ever. It may not really be a love-story either! But it's definitely love and it's definitely a story.

There are no traces of tears. Not even one. Despite the fact that some lyrics of some of those brutally romantic songs bring it all back. This time, out of thin air. And really make me feel like walking down to the person and confess it all. Seems like it'll take many more lives to do it all. Coz I am not in a hurry. Coz the wine will only get better. Coz someone just told me where there is love, there is life. And I can lovingly afford a life to love.

P.S. And it was always more about love than a love-life!

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on.

(: Life's Calling :)

Dear blog

It took me good amount of time and life to finally say now, that I have come a long way. Never mind the remaining journey. Still. This time around, I have had this urge to go gaga about the night talks! About the night skies. The night minutes (Almost free ones!). The night chats. The whispering night hours. The beautiful nights. And hence a dream world minus the sleep :)

Gone are those days (not with the wind, though!) when the lights were switched off at 10 & all one could do was to become a passive audience of the heart-mind talks! So many clashes to witness and there one goes. Off to sleep. Within a click of the tongue. But who knew those days carried a 'bright' future. Literally. And of course, metaphorically. Thanks to 'the little things' someone does for the remaining someones, the talks in the nights are nothing less than glorious. So many promises made to compensate for the broken ones. So many commitments (ranging from "Dude, get your notes tomorrow" to "Of course, I love you!" and the infamous conferences!) and yet so many more hearts broken the next night. But nothing seems to hamper the spirit of the night talks. And why only just talks? Those amazing moments when you feel (really feel!) your phone vibrating under the pillow and your happiness knows no boundaries. Ghosh! *One new test message* The sight is an elixir. Perhaps a little more. Quite often, the happiness dashes back to ground because its just another 'forwarded' message and that too NOT from the person you are dying to hear from! But. In case, its THE one for whom you've been waiting madly, then happiness simply gets redefined & intensified & exaggerated and you might just burst out with sheer joy.

Well, that was a generalized account. Let me dig a little deeper and that too in my own personal space. I have got some really special night friends! I dont know how much I love them. And as it is, there's nothing like 'how much' while someone is loving someone. And same way, I can never relate 'how much' while someone is loving someone back. But yes, we love each other enough to share those supposedly sleepy moments of nights and hence celebrate them. I'm totally smitten by the wonderful things we say and do and then come down to discussing them. Even if there's an exchange of looks at some awkward moment of the day, expect a national discussion in the night!

If I go on and on about the mid night talks, then the invention of the loveliest nick names, the discovery of some great pick-up lines, the discussion of some 'original' crushes, the conflicts and the most bizarre confessions can't be missed! Emotional quotient is on its soaring high during nights. Sometimes, it gets as bad that I feel like going out in the kitchen to grab a knife (almost something like that!) and at times, I feel that my sweetest forever is right in front of me!

Its troublesome to get up in the morning after those long night talks. But its more troublesome intolerable to do away without those talks. Intoxicating talks, they are! And surely, lifeless nights, I have whenever I have to close my eyes on those sad nights when I don't get to feel a single vibration under my pillow! But the best part is that, I can afford to invest/ waste some part of my night life into this talking world. Because I had never been to this world before. And I can never be in this world ever again, if I let it go this time. And that, there's plenty of time to 'really' sleep when I wont have anything else to do. Later. After all, a 'missed call' is indeed a call missed! And it's not just a plain phone call. It's life calling. So, I'm making most of this time. And how?! Happily, ever after. Of course :)

P.S. Life has never stopped being fantastic ever since.

Fight on, Move on and hence, Live on... 

ALL IN ALL, A GOOD-GOOD LIFE

Dear blog

I have got something to share. It's about the things around. About the things I like to think just before I close my eyes. Things I don't say quite often! Things I need to remind myself when I am a little low. Things I felt worth sharing here :)

Here, it goes:

Instead of painting them with light pink, and hoping that the teachers would not notice 'that' tinge on my nails; I paint them green and sometimes even blue now, just to make sure that 'people' do notice them! Instead of putting some 'decent' hair clips here and there and assuming that they would be excused for some unknown but valid reasons, I go wild with my hair now. And perhaps with those clips too! Things have become so colourful. And life definitely promises to be!

Those delicate eyes lined with 'some' kohl has become an old story already. Its probably about unconventional shades and somehow darker eyes now. And it's more about keeping pace. And who knows if it is just about 'that' pace. But then, it's just another 'may-be' adorning our college lives! And the funny part is that this new life and its newer story has no space for the old ones. It doesn't allow enough time to feel nostalgia!

Instead of buying every book of the syllabi, I simply get them issued from the library now. And the important part is that the money saved can be 'utilised' to pay those heavy cell-phone bills! And if, by any chance, some money still adorns my pocket, then it's a 'happy-Maggie' time! Though it's a different tale that happy times can never last long!

Every morning, with ear phones tucked in ears, flaunting proudly the bracelet I bought just yesterday, I stand in the crowd of thousands, waiting for the next metro, hoping endlessly that I'll make it in time for the lecture. And the interesting part is that every person in the crowd has a similar story to share!

The good thing about school-life is that the college life is yet to come. And the bad thing about college-life is that I am over with my school life. But the best thing is that I'm making memories for a lifetime in the meanwhile!

Every once in a while, some familiar but faint breeze does embrace me, and remind me of the life I had; some song brings back the glory of the old ones; some old friends do call up (usually only then, when they have substantial talk-time!) just to make sure that we are still under the same sky! Pondering over this and lots more, I enter my class just in time, feeling an obvious hope that, all in all, it's a good-good life! After all, it has a bit of everything! :)

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

The Absurdity Of Today's Tomorrow!

Dear blog

I know I am landing here after a really long spell... It's been a while, may be more than just a while since I last made my presence felt in this virtual world of mine... But, honestly, I would want to admit that I was busy... I was busy doing absolutely 'nothing'... and surprisingly I don't regret that! I had always been busy working constructively... and arguably for the first time ever, I enjoyed being more of a useless! It was a pleasant change... I did have moments when the urge to share through my tit-bits appeared necessary (though not sufficient!) to feel alive, but then I just let it be! To be more elaborative, I would say I found it difficult to put some 'newer' and 'unknown' feelings in words... I could not find the right words for the right 'things' at the right time... and I wonder if they can ever be... But after all said and done, I feel I will only keep completing myself if I keep living through my words... So, here it goes... about an old breeze... which is missing on the new roads promising newer breezes... and about choices I could never make...!

The Absurdity Of Today's Tomorrow!

Plugging in deafening music,
I slept, singing along as if I've moved on!
Waking up uncomfortably on a dizzy morning,
With ear-phones under me, still singing on!

Though I loved loving life then,
I'm shouting now that I'm missing it no more!
Putting on dresses, wearing on masks,
I'm still wondering who am I living for!

Talking to someone through the mirror,
I tried figuring out if things did fumble up!
Impossible dreams were what I kept chasing,
Not believing the possibility of impossibilities!

Tik-tok, tik-tok and yet another tik-tok
Reminded me that life minus me is moving on!
But letting it go just wasn't an option,
So, I started dreaming incredibly more!

Winning things might be good,
But losing a single someone is bad indeed!
Battlefield was where I found myself in,
And perhaps losing there is just a moment away...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

Life's Worth It!

Dear blog

Life has finally become cheerful. A new breeze made it all the more refreshing and fragrant for me...! I feel like smiling these days..thinking of all those lovely things which happened and all the lovely things which will hopefully happen...! I don't know what exactly is it about life that has turned me on.. but whatever it is, I am immensely grateful and indebted to it... So, here goes another poem of mine... about things I like to think about during the nightfall... about things I cherish the most... about things which are more than just things for me, from now on...
  
                                                    

So many phone calls to be answered;
So many visitors to be honoured;
So many meetings to be attended;
But sometimes...
It's just about calling  up for no reason
And listening the voice you love...
And life becomes worth it...!

So many books to be read;
So many assignments to be written;
So many newspaper clippings to be clipped and filed;
But sometimes...
It's just about sitting back
And reading the 'letter' that you love...
And life becomes worth it...!

So many dress trials to be accomplished;
So many old dresses to be discarded;
So many shopping deadlines to be met;
But sometimes...
It's just about letting your hair down
And lying down in the ugliest shorts you love...!
And life becomes worth it....! 

So many pending gifts to be wrapped and sent;
So many 'Thank-you' notes to be delivered;
So many good wishes to be exchanged;
But sometimes...
It's just about bothering to share
And licking a melt chocolate that you love...!
And life becomes worth it...!

So many challenges to be accepted;
So many fears to be understood;
So many lessons yet to be learned; 
But sometimes...
It's about crossing the worlds
Just to see the smile you love...!
And life becomes worth it...! 

In fact, it's just ALL about 
What you love and live for...

And it's more than just 'sometimes'... 
As life is worth it....!

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on... 

A PHASE OF LIFE

Dear blog

Living in the times what someone very special to me call a PHASE of life, which will hopefully end very soon, I am trying to figure out what have I became by now...! Things have changed beyond recognition. I fail to understand what is 'good' for me and what isn't. I may play the blame game, but that REALLY sounds immature and wrong. It's my life and I must learn to respect whatever it can offer me. At this note, I share my next poem about the abstractness of my existence which I think is STILL incomplete... but I have no intentions to complete it either...!

A not-so-known breeze

Kisses My soul;

Unheard footsteps

Sound louder each moment...

An apparently newer journey

On these old roads;

Blending a newer life

In this old soul...

New faces, new lives

Jingling with that of mine;

There are smiles, there are frowns

And then there are no smiles, only frowns...

It might be right to cry

But it's definitely wrong to smile;

Doesn't matter if rejected or selected

As there is always someone to judge you there...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

It's A Boy-Girl Thing !

Dear blog

Recently, I witnessed certain unexplained actions and reactions. I am yet to figure out if they can be justified or not, but these implications of life certainly drove me crazy! I really feel for all those who went through these circumstances. Also, I admit that I tried to be diplomatic with the words while I 'define' these 'terms' for them! Very fortunately, there have been no casualties as of yet! So, here goes the tale:

He prompts a 'Hi' first

As he's quite frank and knows socializing;

She returns a 'Hello'

Coz she's trying to spell a dirty charm;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He dares to lie, one fine day

As it's a part of his growing up;

She tries to make the truth acceptable

Coz she is losing her 'values';

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He sports a messy beard

And suddenly, he's mysteriously smart;

She messed herself up with unknown responsibilities

And there she becomes freakishly incompetent;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He gets a trendy, new mobile

As he's responsible enough;

She inherits an old, boring one

So that 'they' can keep a check;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He gets late by big-four hours

Understandingly, he must've been busy;

She leaves the doorstep with a deadline

As it's the need of the hour;

After all, he's a boy and she's a girl!

He ridicules these facts

Coz he never saw it and will never do;

She crams the rules of the game well

As 'they' suggested it's the best thing for her;

After all, he's a boy and she's NOT!

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

To My Darling, With Love!

Dear blog

I am having a bad time, bad nights and even worse days! Life has lost its charm for me... and it might never regain it! Amidst all my pain, I had started causing pain too... I felt like hurting others for life is hurting me... I was always afraid of the day when I would be a 'lesser me'... and I hate to admit that I AM A 'LESSER ME' these days. But there's still one darling of mine who smiled at me beautifully and for some reason, I forgot my misery... for a short moment, I wanted to live life again... The following poem is nothing but the essence of being with that angel :

When I hated trying

And eventually, not trying;

When I wanted to envy

Every ray of your light;

I heard you whistling around

Sounding incredibly stupid but adorable;

And then You cuddled me like a spring breeze

All I mustered was a scattered smile...

When I wanted to be disgraceful

And really acted like one;

When I painted my nails black

And smiled wickedly at life;

I saw you jumping besides

Showing how happy you were to be happy;

And then you offered me a share of your cake

All I managed was a plain "Yummy, Wow!"...

I was ashamed to be incomplete,

You smiled gratefully at others completing you!

I was desperate to be a bad girl,

You celebrated being a girl all through!

I preferred the dark hours of the dusk,

You arranged for disco lights to brighten it up!

I cried more when You saw my tears,

You threw a party as you shared the secret!

I told you that I have a hard life,

Knowing that it would have been harder without you!

You showed me how easy things were,

And with a smile, how easier things could be...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

My Best Friend

Dear blog

I have realized that I have a best friend too whom I love and who loves me back. A Best friend who knows me completely and with whom I share a crazy telepathy. The one who listens to me when I am silent in spite of the fact that I desperately want to be heard. The one who shares and cares, who laughs and cries... The one who is simply my best friend... The one for whose sight, I peep into the class room and prompt a brisk smile... The one who has started loving the pink color too just because I fancy it... The one who deserves to read my following words first... I proudly dedicate the following poem to my best friend of life, with whom I love to share my life :

My Best Friend

After all those mornings
When I didn't have a best friend,
I finally wake up in the morning
With the thought of a best friend, whom I possess ...
I had always shooed away the concept
That there are good friends,
Then there are very good friends,
And that there is a best friend too ...
But when buying a chocolate
And munching on it all alone seemed senseless;
When having a bad day
And being upset about it all alone seemed pointless;
When having butterflies in the stomach before exam
And going through the exams of life all alone seemed impossible;
When there's always that one person
Without talking to whom I can't go to bed;
I joyfully announce to this world
That I have got a best friend too ...
When I say that I don't want to talk
And mean that I need the warmest hug in the world;
The mere presence of my best friend
Warms me and my world inside out ...
When I say that I am absolutely fine
And mean that I want to run away from my life;
The horribly stupid jokes of my best friend
Makes me not just smile but laugh out loud too ...
After all those nights
When I didn't have a best friend,
I finally close my eyes in the night
Smiling at the thought of my best friend ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

No Goodbyes For Now !

Dear blog

A lot has happened during the days I was silent. I saw almost everything life could offer at such times. In between such turbulence, there's one thing that still remains just mine. I can still say that I own it completely. And that thing is my words! They haven't lost themselves in between these moments I lost everything else. I want to say that I have no regrets, and hence I am living it up. Following is what remains with me to share :

No Goodbyes For Now !

I'm searching shelves, I'm searching drawers;

I'm searching all the night;

Since I owe them all a final word;

So, I'm searching this world for some goodbyes ...

The dark nights and the darker life;

The teary eyes and the foggy life;

A heavy heart becoming a heavier heart;

All preventing me from finding those goodbyes ...

I clipped them all, I packed them safe;

I saved them through the times;

I always knew I would need them some day;

But surprisingly, I've run out of my goodbyes ...

I wish I could make them believe

That this isn't that final day, perhaps;

Since I've no goodbyes to offer them any;

So, how can they say bye bye ???

Sobbing under my pillow all the night;

I thought of something better to offer them, somehow;

So, I'm gonna say - "Thank You All";

And I'm just gonna walk away, for now ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

The Secracy!

Dear blog

Thanks for everything. Though I could never confide in this place, my almost 'secret' world, but I love every bit of it. I was unknowingly reflecting about things and my pen set out on a journey yet again! With due respect to the blessings of my life, I share the following with you :

ज़िन्दगी की लिखावट के बीच
मेरी दास्ताँ भी सिमटती है;
अपने-से लगते इन पन्नो में
कुछ नमी-सी है,
मेरी कहानी के शब्दों में
कुछ कमी-सी है।

रात के अंधियारे के संग
अनकही बातों की गूँज भी ढलती है;
उन बातों में, मेरे ख्वाबों में
कुछ नमी-सी है,
तारों से मिलने की ख्वाहिशों में
कुछ कमी-सी है।

इन पलकों के पार
हजारों एहसास बसते हैं;
उन एहसासों में, मेरे इशारों में
कुछ नमी-सी है,
सपने से भरी आँखों में भी
कुछ कमी-सी है।

सब कुछ थोड़ा-सा धुन्दला तो है,
जिंदगी का रंग-रूप कुछ बदला तो है,
आँखों की नमी से
ज़िन्दगी की कमी तो नम हो जाएगी,
पर उस कमी का क्या
जो उस नमी का ही सारांश है ?

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

STANDING ALONE !

Dear blog

This time I am sad. And my very own people are making me sad. For reasons dirtier than ever, 'they' have turned against me. During such testing times, when I really needed them to be just besides me, I am seeing them standing in the opposite team! I wish I could think of anything else, I wish I could just count on the blessings I have, I wish I did not get hurt, I wish nothing really happened between us ...

Anyway, the following words are nothing but my emotional outburst. I hope I stand high in these high tides ...

STANDING ALONE

Though the colors are a bit dirty now,
Life's still courageously colorful.
Friends of friends have become tricky,
I'm doubtful if 'they' ever, were friends or can ever be ???

Cruelly, 'they' inflicted the pain,
And I'm searching reasons to continue to be kind
Still confused if I'm sad about the pain
Or because healers are fewer now, at this end ...

In the childish pursuit of being good,
I misspelled impossible as I'M POSSIBLE !
Though I find the new spelling better,
But I'm accused of going wrong with those letters ...

I wish 'they' never showed that they hate,
I wish 'they' had just put it in words.
But I'll try to neither show nor tell
That I've simply stopped loving 'them' all ...

I may never rage a war against 'them',
Even if my side has been wronged upon.
I may never wish 'them' bad in life
But I've certainly stopped wishing 'them' good either ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

Dear blog

I am overflowing with very strong emotions these days. I don't know what has went wrong and where, but I do know that something has gone wrong ! And in the meanwhile, trying to figure out the reasons, I have some words to share. This one's really intense, at least from my side. The only reason for such intensity may be my guilt. But then, that's how I feel right now!


That Night And That Song

On one of 'those' nights,
She held the mike and felt the stage.
The audience's world went dull
Against 'those' glossy eyes and 'that' vibrant image ...

Her songs had turned her previous nights musical,
'That' passion came quite naturally to her.
She was told her voice was lovable,
And 'that' made even her days musical ...

She had 'her' idol too,
For whom she wanted to sing better.
It was definitely one of 'those' nights
When dreams and reality ought to come closer ...

Having sung for so many times now,
The stage's magnanimity shouldn't have bothered her.
But overwhelmed with hopes, dreams and emotions,
'That' lovable voice choked and hell broke upon her ...

She was standing right 'there', crying perhaps,
Her little hands, collecting bits of 'those' broken dreams.
Guilt and pain and tears and nothing
For she failed to sing 'her' song to the world ...

She knew the words, she had the rhythm,
Her soul was singing the very song to her.
May be, God wanted her song to remain a 'secret',
And hence, the world was still unconquered ...

After all 'that' happened,
She got no courage to live on.
But she decided to move on
For she owed a lot to someone ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

A kid who's not kidding !

Dear all

First of all, Merry Christmas to all of you. May your life gets merrier than ever. I hope Uncle Santa paid you a visit on the Christmas eve.

During the days i didn't blog, I was busy pondering upon the fantastic colours of my life. God has been so kind to bless me with a wonderful mentor, a fantastic smiley and some lovely angels. I just penned down 'something'. It's again a bit of me and a bit of what I have always wanted to be ! I know that's a little complicated to understand. So, here's what I wrote :

I've got 'evidences' !

At the sight of a falling star,
I close my eyes,
I fold my hands,
And I make a wish ... still !

In the moments of confrontation,
I feel guilty at heart,
I lose to the mighty truth,
And I don't shy away from saying sorry to mum ... still !

On the days not so beautiful,
I like to show that I have a bad mood,
I fight with my friend,
And I end up crying for the same ... still !

On the eves of Christmas,
I bell my Christmas tree,
I hang socks with a clip,
And I wait for the Santa ... still !

In the nights so dreamy,
I do not go to sleep too fast,
I like to dream with my heart,
Knowing I wont make it too far ... still !

I've got 'evidences' to prove
That I'm not a grown up ... still !
I'm not kidding when I say,
I am still a kid !!!

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

Dedicated To Someone Special

Dear blog

I am overwhelmed by some unexpected joys of life. I never really wished for them, but probably they were my destiny. I never ever expected them to unfold at this point in my life. Well, I dedicate these simple joys of life and the following poem to one of my angels. I know my angel will stand up once again. I always believe that when bad things happen to good people, they become better people! And hence, i expect that my angel has become better... Though written about some very special hearts and their remarkably sweet gestures, this one's for you, dear angel ...

Crossing Roads

We cross roads with people,
Shake hands and bid bye bye to march on.
That's how the journey unfolds,
We cross people and they cross us too ...

Though unsaid, there's more to this melancholy,
For some people don't just cross roads,
In fact, they never do cross roads to march ahead,
They keep the unsaid promise of being with you ...

Sometimes, they lead you;
And at times, they follow you;
While most of the times, they are besides;
Visibly or invisibly, the idea is to be around you ...

Without really spying,
They know everything and even beyond ...
They say just the right words, every time
And do just the right things, always ...

The many people who cross roads,
Are mere distractions of life,
And the precious few who uncross the melancholy,
Are the inspirations of life ...

Our inspirations exchange not just smiles,
But beautifully 'stupid' memories too !
They mayn't help unscramble these crossing roads,
But they sit besides just to cry when we shed a tear or two ...

Celebrating these inspirations,
And appreciating the unappreciated;
That's all I got to do, at the end of this journey,
P.S. - I Love You all till the eternity ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

" I'll Miss You ..."

Dear blog

The following poem is a tale of three words. The words that a girl finally uttered. She finally came face to face with this moment of truth ! She finally embraced the words she was ditching up til now. I know this girl for a long time now. She talks of her friends and angels whom she will so very miss in the coming days. Just like me, she faces the dilemma of to be and not to be! With her permission, here I am, blogging the hopelessly hopeful tale of those words ...

" I'll Miss You ..."

Finally enduring the unendurable,
She said, " I'll miss you ... "
Following those luckless words,
She forced a smile for the one she'll miss ...

Trying to fight her brains and the inescapable,
Her heart dismissed the idea of leaving, ever !
But then, she said, " I'll miss you ..."
Forced to accept that she'll have to leave ...

Having said, " I'll miss you ..."
She tried hard to understand it, to feel it!
Though she isn't sad anymore, nor is she pained,
For she doesn't really know the pain of parting ...

Mesmerized at the perfection of life now,
She was correct to say, " I'll miss you ..." later !
Though hardly realizing how artlessly the bits and pieces will be
forced back without the perfection and those perfectionists ...

Fight on, Move and hence Live on ...

Everything's Final

Dear blog

Everything is final now. The climax has been written. And even if I want to change it, I am not allowed to do so... Things are about to come to an end, and it's scary... it's scary to come out of the protected and warm world I am used to live in. It's scary to step into a world where only the survival of the fittest is a rule ! Rules of the game will be changed soon... And probably, at first, I will not be able to figure out how to play the game... But then, before all that, there are these final moments that are still with me. And hence, I really want to live through them... Following are the desperate words of such a desperate girl...

Before the curtain finally falls,
This one's probably the last scene and the last chance,
To give it my best shot,
To play the best me, I can ever be ...

Before the final moment of the game arrives,
This one's the last ball and the last chance,
To not just play the best shot,
But to play my shot, I always craved to play ...

Before the final stroke of the brush,
This one's the last chance and the last gaze on my scenery,
To play with the colours of innocence,
And to bathe in the fantastic colours of life ...

Before finally stepping out,
This one's the last chance,
To take a look around,
To endure all that I will so very miss ...

Before my final goodbye,
This one's the last chance,
To embrace it all,
To embrace my soon-to-be ex-world ...

It's not that I will lose my world,
It's just that I wont find it again !
I know it will be there in every bit of me,
And will be there within me till the eternity ...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

I am back with a bang !

Dear blog

Just emotions and that's it... My world has changed and I am yet to unpack 'my things'. I am yet to settle down and get used to this new breeze around me.I really want to love this new place since my angels have shown the confidence that I will surely love it. I TRUST them and I believe in God. And hence, here I am, sharing a glimpse of my new world with all of you...

Flowers And The Bee

God introduced me to a bee,
A humming bee it was.
She was a rock star of her world,
She always had a smile and a melody to hum...

She had her own definitions,
A serious mission was her sincere adventure!
Flying high with minimal regrets,
She got just sweet honey to offer...

And then came a twist in the tale
A sincere mission became her serious misadventure!
The world crowned her as the new Queen Bee
With lights, camera and lots of action...

She took a look at the same world from her throne,
And she doubted her very own definitions!
Wearing teary eyes and a nervous smile,
She forgot the melody she used to hum...

It took a while for her to unpack her things,
To hum again and love the world she's in!
Once in a while, she does miss her old world,
Only to realize that she must move on while the Show goes on...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on...

Dedicated To My Friend...

Dear all
I am sad. One of my most special friends has decided not to talk anymore. And hence, I dedicate the following poem of mine to this friend, whom I call Smiley !



My Smiley and Me !

My nights have never been more restless...
Days did never turn this senseless...
My words and my voice strangely went silent...
For I'm losing my Smiley and the many smilies sent...

Me minus my Smiley has no meaning...
And not even my Smiley knows I'm silently weeping...
It's not just cuisines which went tasteless...
For I'm losing my Smiley and the many smilies sent...

My eyes only looked for my Smiley in the crowd...
And the mere sight was a 'stupid' reason to smile...
And see where I am today, painfully trying to be invisible...
For I'm losing my Smiley and the many smilies sent...

There have been days when we chose not to talk...
And then the following nights thinking why not...
I just got to cry today as I don't have a choice anymore...
For I'm losing my Smiley and the many smilies sent...

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...

Completed one of my fairytales !

Dear blog

I just came back from my fairy land. And I am about to burst with intense emotions. But then, as I say, writing about what, when, how and why of my life makes me feel better. So, I am doing it yet again, without any fail. Sharing my very own fairy tale with all of you. I had to fall from the mountain-top to appreciate everything around. And that's the beauty. I sincerely believe that "Life is always fair in the end." Hence, believing in life and much more, I am baring it all in front of you ...


MY FAIRYTALE

Writing my fairytale,
In a world which is a lesser - fairy land
As there aren't a lot of fairies here;
Demons are everywhere to hurt me.

Over the pages and over the chapters,
Sadness is bound to show up,
Words are going to be painful,
And my heart will refuse to believe that it's a fairytale ...

But fairies are not so hard to find-
I will see their ever-smiling faces, whenever I look up.
I can feel their immense healing power, whenever I try to.
And the words of my fairytale become better ...

In between this interplay of fairies and demons,
There's me, my words and hence a tale.
In between this battle of belief and disbelief,
There's my pursuit of believing in my dreams ...

Each one of us has got a fairytale or two
And we must not stop writing it !
As somewhere, someone is waiting anxiously
For the release of your fairytale !

Since it's going to be a fairytale,
It's going to be happy, anyways !
And since it's going to be happy,
Who cares if it was the end or just another beginning !

Fight on, Move on and hence Live on ...